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writing again

I knew if I just kept sitting down and reading this book and my notes on this book and thinking through the ideas there that eventually I would encounter a thought of my own. The book is Badiou's Ethics and the paper I'm writing on it is for the eyes of none other than the department chair whose disappointed chastisements I've weathered all semester, wishing all the while that I could get myself to speak up in class like he wants me to.

I've been frozen all semester, academically. Part of it is just that graduate school is hard, and I knew that part was coming. The part I didn't anticipate was the veritably Coleridgean wave of self-doubt toward my ability to do written work. Today marks the breakthrough I've been waiting for since September, though. I started reading again this morning. Happened across that old infamous Larkin paper from my junior year, the one that won the Louise M. Young award at AU. Became suddenly capable again.

The moral of the story is, Philip Larkin never fails.